5.20-5.24

5.20
Started the day of the trip by spending the most marvelous time with dear friend Zach, whom I hadn't seen in nearly a year, and the daring, darling Soleil whom I also love and hadn't seen in what felt almost as long as I'd seen Zachary.
We watched The Last Unicorn. Which I hadn't seen in at least 10 years or more. Morgan and I used to borrow it from the local library and we both loved it immensely.
I dyed my hair. It's darker brown. I like it a lot. And the people who noticed at all like it too.
I left for Florence. I saw my Starbucks friends. Some of them anyway. I saw Mels. And Kadi. And Jordan New. And August Langley. And met Adam Sims and Grayson Hiatt. I don't remember what else. Mels cooked dinner. For some reason it seemed out of character but it was delicious. Mad props to her.

5.21
Stayed inside all day. Everyone was busy. Mels was working. I was lonely. And read In Cold Blood. Dinner the next night was also made by Melissa and equally delicious. Hung out with August, Jordan, Kadi, Adam and Grayson again. For whatever reason, the sillies were intent on hooking up Grayson and I because we 'look alike'. Psh. As if that's reason enough to date someone.. No thanks. I'm sure he's probably a great kid, but no thanks. I'm not interested no matter how many times you ask. It made Kadi and me laugh a great deal, which was fun. Probably the most laughs she and I have ever shared. She seemed to like me very much, which is still somewhat new to me.

5.22
First day at The House. Accidentally woke up Josh, who answered the door only half-dressed seeing as he was sleeping when I knocked on the door. Brody and I played the keyboard. That was fun. And ended up waking Carrie which made me happy because I had missed her very much. We all had a laugh. And then soon the whole house was up. I don't think we did much that day. Everyone was wandering about in anticipation since that night several of them were barhopping. Carrie and I stayed behind with Brody. And Chris and Rosa. Everyone else left as I recall. Nick called. He mentioned how depressed he was. I didn't realize till he called and mentioned how bad off he'd been. It was terrible to hear how bad it sounded and I felt bad that I couldn't do anything about it.
Carrie and I made delicious real pie which everyone very much enjoyed (before they left for the bars). REAL PIE. N-N-N-N-NOT the FAKE pie.
Carrie and I did things of a slightly illegal nature. We had lots and lots of fun for a while. Watched Sailor Moon. Went outside and enjoyed nature. We had a perfect moment. One of those few which can be replicated. Life, for a little while, was perfect. There was nothing wrong with it. Everything was whole and pure and full of only good. It was one of the greatest moments I've ever experienced in a drive-way at midnight. Then I over-did myself. I went to far and started to get sick. Not before making an ass of myself. I called Sabastian and Nick. I don't remember those phone calls. I don't know what I said. Apparently it was all very funny. I remember images. I remember being sick. Very sick. So sick it felt like all of my insides were scrambling to get out of me. They were doing a bang up job. I laid on the ground for what felt like minutes in recall but was more like hours. Emptying the contents of my intestines. I cried. I remember crying, probably in pain, I don't know why to be sure. I just remember feeling awful. My whole body wracked in agony. I remember clutching a toilet bowl for dear life, feeling as though I'd fall off the face of the earth if I didn't grip it as tightly as my aching muscles would allow. I remember people standing over me, with so many different looks on each face. Some pity, some knowingly, others in determination to get me to stop being sick. Not one face was able. Eventually a friend helped me to bed, where he held back my hair as I continued to dry-heave and rub my back till I fell asleep. Sometime around 5 am.

5.23
The next morning wasn't nearly as equally dreadful. I didn't remember much of the night before. I wasn't even sick. I went to church. Mels made fun of me for being ill. Which didn't help the illness. I got baptized while Mel and Jordan made bets on when I would spew. It was the first time I'd ever been baptized. It felt like the right time. Except for the whole being sick the night before thing. Which I acknowledge isn't good. But I got baptized and that is no small feat in and of itself as I had been waiting on the edge for years, wondering when I would meet that steep-edge running. And I finally did. And I will always remember.
Carrie and I danced in the rain. It was another excellent moment. I wore the same shirt I got baptized in, and it felt almost like a second baptism. The whole day seemed a clear blue. Not that the sky was blue, it was gray, but everything seemed clean and beautiful. And it probably was.
I also found out how much of an idiot I made of myself the night before. Telling people things that maybe they ought not to have known at all. I was so ashamed. Carrie thought it was funny, and I know in retrospect, the moment will likely exponentially multiply in hilarity. At the time, all I could do was blush in shame.
We didn't do much that night. I think I slept most of the day away. I was so tired from the night before. I made brownies from scratch that everyone loved.

5.24
I got up and made omelets for everyone who wanted one. I didn't. I still couldn't eat. Said goodbye to the people who had played host the two nights before. I went to lunch with Carrie and Josh. Where I didn't eat. But we referenced my coming and visiting again very very soon. Carrie referenced how I'd made a fool of myself, but I didn't mind. We'd made a really awesome connection. And I feel like no matter what, we'll always have an understanding. She's a very interesting person. And in some ways, so like me. We made jokes in front of Josh, and he mentioned how excited he was for his birthday. When we got back, they tried to kidnap me so I'd stay, but eventually I did have to leave. We were all very sad. And I hope to be back soon.
I went to Starbucks to say my last goodbyes.
I went home.


And was lonely.