Second Banana

Another blow,
to my supernova ego.

Like I really need all that help.

Try out for a play. about 40 other people audition.
Now, I don't anticipate a huge role, but I expected something.

Certainly not nothing.
I suppose I should have though.
It doesn't really seem fair when you're going up against the entire theatre guild.

I feel like the only reason I didn't get a role was because I'm not a junior or senior here and I've never auditioned before.
I feel childlike and pitiful when I say: Not fair!

But it seems that way.
I didn't realize how much I really wanted this gig.
I knew I wanted it, but not this badly.

Well, it's not like I"m Tonya Harding or anything. I can live with the fact that I was beaten out. That I wasn't as good.

It always seems that way though. I mentioned it the day after the first auditions.

I'm always first when it comes to mediocrity.
In all things fine/performing arts. I'm only just good enough barely to be accepted.
But nothing worth pining over and taking real notice or a second glance.

It's not fair that no matter how hard I try I will always be second banana to someone else.
Anyone else.
No matter who it is I'm competing against. I always lose.