There are several things I'm looking forward to.
All of them good of course;
Knowing that they'll be here soon is wonderful,
Even if it may take a while.
Happy,
Exhausted,
Excited.
Dirty room, clear mind, rainy skies, warm body.
The end.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Sunday, August 15
Thursday, July 29
Exuding Homeyness
This past weekend I went to Trenton, South Carolina, PEACH CAPITAL OF THE WORLD, to visit Soleil McAuley.
Oh goodness it was so fun. I really truly missed her, and felt like I hadn't seen her in ages. And I met a good deal of her family and spent lots of time with them.
They seem like really nice people if they actually aren't.
Their house is on some beautiful property (even if it is in the middle of nowhere), and the house itself is beautiful. There is lots of greenery. They have two dogs, Bonnie and Josie, and a bird, Sonny. They have their own garden with tomatoes, peppers, basil and other herbs. They recycle, and have a compost pile. They keep everything neat and tidy, but it still exudes a subtle luxury that somehow remains homey.
They eat all of their meals together and from what I could tell, are very polite.
They seem exactly like the type of family I would have if I were to already have my own family. how I would raise my kids, how I would keep my house.. It was just... exactly the kind of elegant aestheticism.
And spending so much time with Soleil was just splendid.
The first night, we stayed up and did ourselves up in Lady GaGa inspired pictures. It's too bad that we're too embarrassed by them to put them on FB. Haha, they'd be a gas.. :)
We took soooo many pictures, and a good deal of them just turned out excellently. It was positively wonderful. I was so glad that I got to go. I felt so refreshed when I left.
It was just a great experience.
I'm very tired. I should sleep now. But I'm glad I got to put down to keys what a great weekend it was :)
Oh goodness it was so fun. I really truly missed her, and felt like I hadn't seen her in ages. And I met a good deal of her family and spent lots of time with them.
They seem like really nice people if they actually aren't.
Their house is on some beautiful property (even if it is in the middle of nowhere), and the house itself is beautiful. There is lots of greenery. They have two dogs, Bonnie and Josie, and a bird, Sonny. They have their own garden with tomatoes, peppers, basil and other herbs. They recycle, and have a compost pile. They keep everything neat and tidy, but it still exudes a subtle luxury that somehow remains homey.
They eat all of their meals together and from what I could tell, are very polite.
They seem exactly like the type of family I would have if I were to already have my own family. how I would raise my kids, how I would keep my house.. It was just... exactly the kind of elegant aestheticism.
And spending so much time with Soleil was just splendid.
The first night, we stayed up and did ourselves up in Lady GaGa inspired pictures. It's too bad that we're too embarrassed by them to put them on FB. Haha, they'd be a gas.. :)
We took soooo many pictures, and a good deal of them just turned out excellently. It was positively wonderful. I was so glad that I got to go. I felt so refreshed when I left.
It was just a great experience.
I'm very tired. I should sleep now. But I'm glad I got to put down to keys what a great weekend it was :)
Wednesday, July 14
Redundant.
How is it possible that my life is so absurdly redundant?
I decided today that I would write prison inmates. Possibly not the smartest thing I've ever done. But whatever. It would've been mostly platonic. I liked the idea of writing someone who might possibly be interested in responding to my letters.
I liked the idea of having a friend who was possibly misunderstood. And just really wanted someone to talk to. I could've been that person.
Anyway, my mom mentioned that she had looked in my room for a few things that she thought might be in here, and much like the time they found drug paraphernalia in my room, they found letters I had just written to inmates in various prisons..
Why does this always happen to me?
I mean, ok. I get that taking care of my safety is important.
But mother definitely got online and checked these people out. Their profiles too. Accusing me of just.. idk. Inappropriate behavior which was frustrating.
I don't like feeling like I'm mistrusted.
Or feel like I can't trust the people I live with.
I want a padlock on my door.
I decided today that I would write prison inmates. Possibly not the smartest thing I've ever done. But whatever. It would've been mostly platonic. I liked the idea of writing someone who might possibly be interested in responding to my letters.
I liked the idea of having a friend who was possibly misunderstood. And just really wanted someone to talk to. I could've been that person.
Anyway, my mom mentioned that she had looked in my room for a few things that she thought might be in here, and much like the time they found drug paraphernalia in my room, they found letters I had just written to inmates in various prisons..
Why does this always happen to me?
I mean, ok. I get that taking care of my safety is important.
But mother definitely got online and checked these people out. Their profiles too. Accusing me of just.. idk. Inappropriate behavior which was frustrating.
I don't like feeling like I'm mistrusted.
Or feel like I can't trust the people I live with.
I want a padlock on my door.
Sunday, July 4
What we have here
Is a failure to communicate.
Apparently, the plans I make are meant to be invalid because I didn't make them with the consent of the family.
My family doesn't make plans together, so I don't know what this nonsense is about trying to scapegoat me as the source of their problems, for all they say about 'not blaming' me or 'being angry'.
It just isn't right to be treated as though I'm incompetent. I'm not the one who failed to make plans until the day before they were meant to be acted upon.
Please. Like I really wanted to go anywhere with you anyway.
Tosh.
I did feel like I did better though. I didn't get severely angry like I did the other morning when I woke up to go visit the grandparents who don't even call to wish me happy birthday, and my car was gone. Mother took it without even any notice. She couldn't move the cars to reach hers, and took mine instead... Maybe it was a good reason. I'm not sure. It just didn't seem right.
My mom is very distracted by working on her doctorate. I get that it's difficult.
But shit, we're supposed to be a family and with how she's been acting as of late, taking care of the family seems to be last on her mind really.
That's fine. Get a divorce and get out. You'll be happier I'm sure.
Maybe it'll be better for the rest of us too.
You know, it's true what they say:
Nothing Could be Finer, than to be in Carolina.
So long as you're only dreaming, or in a coma.
Apparently, the plans I make are meant to be invalid because I didn't make them with the consent of the family.
My family doesn't make plans together, so I don't know what this nonsense is about trying to scapegoat me as the source of their problems, for all they say about 'not blaming' me or 'being angry'.
It just isn't right to be treated as though I'm incompetent. I'm not the one who failed to make plans until the day before they were meant to be acted upon.
Please. Like I really wanted to go anywhere with you anyway.
Tosh.
I did feel like I did better though. I didn't get severely angry like I did the other morning when I woke up to go visit the grandparents who don't even call to wish me happy birthday, and my car was gone. Mother took it without even any notice. She couldn't move the cars to reach hers, and took mine instead... Maybe it was a good reason. I'm not sure. It just didn't seem right.
My mom is very distracted by working on her doctorate. I get that it's difficult.
But shit, we're supposed to be a family and with how she's been acting as of late, taking care of the family seems to be last on her mind really.
That's fine. Get a divorce and get out. You'll be happier I'm sure.
Maybe it'll be better for the rest of us too.
You know, it's true what they say:
Nothing Could be Finer, than to be in Carolina.
So long as you're only dreaming, or in a coma.
Sunday, June 13
Busy Busy Bee
The first of February, I made this list of goals. I'm going to make it much shorter so it takes up less space, but I can still go through everything I've done.
1. participate in some extra-curricular
2. pass math. With a B
3. play cello more. At least as much as I'm practicing piano right now.
4. be a better friend.
5. keep up with blogging
6. start a dream blog!
7. send a post secret.
8. branch out - make more friends
9. lose weight.
10. love my family more.
Geeze. With explanations, it took up a lot more space than just 10 lines...
Anyway, I wanted to look at this list, and see what all I've accomplished.
I did try out for a play. That's a step. Even if I didn't get a part, I had the courage to attempt.
I did pass math with a B!!!
I still don't play cello that much... or at all :/
I'm working on the be-a-better-friend thing. I think it's working.
I've been keeping up with this blog pretty well, and my dream blog too.
I have yet to send a post secret.
Branching out is difficult when there's no place FOR you to branch, but I'm doing the best I can with my opportunities.. I think anyway.
Nope. I have not yet really lost any weight :/ Lazy arse.. :(
I think it's working. I feel somewhat better about my family, so, maybe it's working.
The point of this though, was for me to say something I felt like needed saying.
I'm not perfect.
As if that wasn't obvious.
But I'm working on what I know for a fact I need to fix.
For example, being baptized. I've known for years that I needed to do that. And now, I've finally taken care of it, which is an amazing thing. But being an amazing Christ-follower isn't about professing his name and then public proclamation of your faith. There's so much more than that.
It's your behavior, it's your language, it's your actions.
Mine aren't nearly where they need to be.
I still want what I want because I want it.
I don't pray enough.
I never read my Bible.
I'm not saying I'm a terrible person. I just feel like there's a lot I still need to work on before I feel comfortable saying I'm a Christian and I love God, and I know that I'm solid in my faith.
Then again, who said having faith meant being in your comfort zone?
I feel like there's so much to do.
I don't know if I'm ready for it, but I want to be.
1. participate in some extra-curricular
2. pass math. With a B
3. play cello more. At least as much as I'm practicing piano right now.
4. be a better friend.
5. keep up with blogging
6. start a dream blog!
7. send a post secret.
8. branch out - make more friends
9. lose weight.
10. love my family more.
Geeze. With explanations, it took up a lot more space than just 10 lines...
Anyway, I wanted to look at this list, and see what all I've accomplished.
I did try out for a play. That's a step. Even if I didn't get a part, I had the courage to attempt.
I did pass math with a B!!!
I still don't play cello that much... or at all :/
I'm working on the be-a-better-friend thing. I think it's working.
I've been keeping up with this blog pretty well, and my dream blog too.
I have yet to send a post secret.
Branching out is difficult when there's no place FOR you to branch, but I'm doing the best I can with my opportunities.. I think anyway.
Nope. I have not yet really lost any weight :/ Lazy arse.. :(
I think it's working. I feel somewhat better about my family, so, maybe it's working.
The point of this though, was for me to say something I felt like needed saying.
I'm not perfect.
As if that wasn't obvious.
But I'm working on what I know for a fact I need to fix.
For example, being baptized. I've known for years that I needed to do that. And now, I've finally taken care of it, which is an amazing thing. But being an amazing Christ-follower isn't about professing his name and then public proclamation of your faith. There's so much more than that.
It's your behavior, it's your language, it's your actions.
Mine aren't nearly where they need to be.
I still want what I want because I want it.
I don't pray enough.
I never read my Bible.
I'm not saying I'm a terrible person. I just feel like there's a lot I still need to work on before I feel comfortable saying I'm a Christian and I love God, and I know that I'm solid in my faith.
Then again, who said having faith meant being in your comfort zone?
I feel like there's so much to do.
I don't know if I'm ready for it, but I want to be.
Monday, May 10
Andersen Cook
Is a dumb little girl.
But at least now she knows it and is moving on.
She also has a cute new hair cut and is thinking about dying it a little darker, with some gold which will be just the teeny change that she needed.
"In other news", her room is almost clean, which means that she will soon be able to paint! Hooray!
She is also terribly excited about the visit she will be having from a friend named Liz Worn whom she rarely sees but loves spending time with.
Also, I had a thought about family while I was cleaning.
You know they say that you don't see the product of a parents parenting until the grandkids. The reason being that you don't really know how well you did with your offspring till you see your offspring's offspring. So props to G-moneies for making me turn out awesome.
But really, I was thinking on a more specific level. I don't know, it's menial what I thought of, but nonetheless I thought of it, so here goes.
One way in which I will differ from my parents:
They always complain about the cleanliness of a household. Always. Unless it's spotless. But rarely do they ever ever actually clean it. So they bitch and moan for days or weeks or what have you, but nothing ever gets done until company is coming over, which means that everyone flips out for 2-4 business days right up until the visitor has arrived.
I don't play that shit. My parents claim they love for a place to be clean, but really, it's dirty. All of the time. Myself on the other hand, I prefer a clean living space. I don't really complain about it (from what I can guess). I just see a need and fulfill it.
That's just one thing I thought of earlier. Set an example for your kids by cleaning up after yourself. Rather than leave a mess and bitch later.
Also, I refuse to have a dog that's not house-trained or is a fucking retard. My basset hound will be brilliant and well-behaved.
But at least now she knows it and is moving on.
She also has a cute new hair cut and is thinking about dying it a little darker, with some gold which will be just the teeny change that she needed.
"In other news", her room is almost clean, which means that she will soon be able to paint! Hooray!
She is also terribly excited about the visit she will be having from a friend named Liz Worn whom she rarely sees but loves spending time with.
Also, I had a thought about family while I was cleaning.
You know they say that you don't see the product of a parents parenting until the grandkids. The reason being that you don't really know how well you did with your offspring till you see your offspring's offspring. So props to G-moneies for making me turn out awesome.
But really, I was thinking on a more specific level. I don't know, it's menial what I thought of, but nonetheless I thought of it, so here goes.
One way in which I will differ from my parents:
They always complain about the cleanliness of a household. Always. Unless it's spotless. But rarely do they ever ever actually clean it. So they bitch and moan for days or weeks or what have you, but nothing ever gets done until company is coming over, which means that everyone flips out for 2-4 business days right up until the visitor has arrived.
I don't play that shit. My parents claim they love for a place to be clean, but really, it's dirty. All of the time. Myself on the other hand, I prefer a clean living space. I don't really complain about it (from what I can guess). I just see a need and fulfill it.
That's just one thing I thought of earlier. Set an example for your kids by cleaning up after yourself. Rather than leave a mess and bitch later.
Also, I refuse to have a dog that's not house-trained or is a fucking retard. My basset hound will be brilliant and well-behaved.
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