Exuding Homeyness

This past weekend I went to Trenton, South Carolina, PEACH CAPITAL OF THE WORLD, to visit Soleil McAuley.
Oh goodness it was so fun. I really truly missed her, and felt like I hadn't seen her in ages. And I met a good deal of her family and spent lots of time with them.
They seem like really nice people if they actually aren't.
Their house is on some beautiful property (even if it is in the middle of nowhere), and the house itself is beautiful. There is lots of greenery. They have two dogs, Bonnie and Josie, and a bird, Sonny. They have their own garden with tomatoes, peppers, basil and other herbs. They recycle, and have a compost pile. They keep everything neat and tidy, but it still exudes a subtle luxury that somehow remains homey.
They eat all of their meals together and from what I could tell, are very polite.
They seem exactly like the type of family I would have if I were to already have my own family. how I would raise my kids, how I would keep my house.. It was just... exactly the kind of elegant aestheticism.
And spending so much time with Soleil was just splendid.
The first night, we stayed up and did ourselves up in Lady GaGa inspired pictures. It's too bad that we're too embarrassed by them to put them on FB. Haha, they'd be a gas.. :)
We took soooo many pictures, and a good deal of them just turned out excellently. It was positively wonderful. I was so glad that I got to go. I felt so refreshed when I left.
It was just a great experience.
I'm very tired. I should sleep now. But I'm glad I got to put down to keys what a great weekend it was :)

Tell the Truth with Lies

That's what this writer's creed thing, that my Grandmother gave me once, said.

After I sang, to Ashley, that song I wrote, and she was very complimentary of it, I kind of thought about my writing and...
I've decided to start writing again. Or at least not be ashamed of my writing.
If I ever get inspired, write down whatever phrase or verse comes to mind and run with it.
I have a lot from twitter that, in retrospect, just seem poetic. Or have the potential to be poetic.
So even if it's a song, or just a stanza to a poem that never gets finished but might inspire a story, I intend to write it down.

I'm frustrated with Liz. I was supposed to live with her, and she just decided, out of the blue (or so it seemed to me) that she didn't want to live with me anymore. I wouldn't have taken it personally except she got kind of snarky/testy whenever I asked her even a bit more about it.
The best laid plans of mice and men...
Oh well.

Life moves on and I'm looking forward to school starting again in a about a month. Moving in, having my own life. Being able to see people every day, have something to do all of the time. Learn :)
<3
Like I said in that earlier blog, I'm excited to see where the next few years takes me.
It's weird to be thinking so far ahead, or saying it that way, but I guess... I'm getting older now. So I should be thinking that far ahead, right?

PS: wicked burn. I feel like my legs are on fire. It's not a whole lot of fun.
At least the lake house with Rachel was fun :)

Something old, something new?

Something old: I'm dead bored kinda.
something new: a lot longer of an explanation than that.
---> I've been so so excited because lately, I feel like God is working in my life. I know people say that a lot. And for them, who knows, it could be true. I just know that for myself, I've felt that I've been really separate from God (I say it that way, because it's my doing, not His, that I haven't been doing what He says to do in my life). But recently, I've been going to church regularly, and tithing, and was recently baptized, and also started going to a devotional group. Which is sooo amazing. It's hard to believe how quickly everything is happening, but I'm glad to do it! And it just feels like my life is becoming more what it ought to be. And that is thrilling. Really it is.

Something old: I'm boyfriendless. Shockerrr.
Something new: it still... bothers me I guess, but the truth is, now that I feel God more presently in my life, I've accepted that that's what my life is. No boyfriend. And I'm kind of disappointed about it, but I figure, the truth is, that's what life for me is meant to be. At least, at this time in my life. I'll just have to wait, and I'm prepared to do that if I must :/ And it would seem I must.

Something old: I want a tattoo
Something new: I want several. "pray" on my right hand ring finger, the Bible verse "Do not be afraid, believe Mark 5:36" somewhere or other, music notes behind my ear, and possibly, somewhere on my body have the phrase "It belongs to God"

Something old: I love crafts
Something new: I will almost definitely be getting a sewing machine for my birthday, now I will be able to sew my own clothes or bags, or whatever else I feel like sewing, which is awesome :)

I can't think of any other olds and news.
So, that's enough for now, and that's good enough.

5.20-5.24

5.20
Started the day of the trip by spending the most marvelous time with dear friend Zach, whom I hadn't seen in nearly a year, and the daring, darling Soleil whom I also love and hadn't seen in what felt almost as long as I'd seen Zachary.
We watched The Last Unicorn. Which I hadn't seen in at least 10 years or more. Morgan and I used to borrow it from the local library and we both loved it immensely.
I dyed my hair. It's darker brown. I like it a lot. And the people who noticed at all like it too.
I left for Florence. I saw my Starbucks friends. Some of them anyway. I saw Mels. And Kadi. And Jordan New. And August Langley. And met Adam Sims and Grayson Hiatt. I don't remember what else. Mels cooked dinner. For some reason it seemed out of character but it was delicious. Mad props to her.

5.21
Stayed inside all day. Everyone was busy. Mels was working. I was lonely. And read In Cold Blood. Dinner the next night was also made by Melissa and equally delicious. Hung out with August, Jordan, Kadi, Adam and Grayson again. For whatever reason, the sillies were intent on hooking up Grayson and I because we 'look alike'. Psh. As if that's reason enough to date someone.. No thanks. I'm sure he's probably a great kid, but no thanks. I'm not interested no matter how many times you ask. It made Kadi and me laugh a great deal, which was fun. Probably the most laughs she and I have ever shared. She seemed to like me very much, which is still somewhat new to me.

5.22
First day at The House. Accidentally woke up Josh, who answered the door only half-dressed seeing as he was sleeping when I knocked on the door. Brody and I played the keyboard. That was fun. And ended up waking Carrie which made me happy because I had missed her very much. We all had a laugh. And then soon the whole house was up. I don't think we did much that day. Everyone was wandering about in anticipation since that night several of them were barhopping. Carrie and I stayed behind with Brody. And Chris and Rosa. Everyone else left as I recall. Nick called. He mentioned how depressed he was. I didn't realize till he called and mentioned how bad off he'd been. It was terrible to hear how bad it sounded and I felt bad that I couldn't do anything about it.
Carrie and I made delicious real pie which everyone very much enjoyed (before they left for the bars). REAL PIE. N-N-N-N-NOT the FAKE pie.
Carrie and I did things of a slightly illegal nature. We had lots and lots of fun for a while. Watched Sailor Moon. Went outside and enjoyed nature. We had a perfect moment. One of those few which can be replicated. Life, for a little while, was perfect. There was nothing wrong with it. Everything was whole and pure and full of only good. It was one of the greatest moments I've ever experienced in a drive-way at midnight. Then I over-did myself. I went to far and started to get sick. Not before making an ass of myself. I called Sabastian and Nick. I don't remember those phone calls. I don't know what I said. Apparently it was all very funny. I remember images. I remember being sick. Very sick. So sick it felt like all of my insides were scrambling to get out of me. They were doing a bang up job. I laid on the ground for what felt like minutes in recall but was more like hours. Emptying the contents of my intestines. I cried. I remember crying, probably in pain, I don't know why to be sure. I just remember feeling awful. My whole body wracked in agony. I remember clutching a toilet bowl for dear life, feeling as though I'd fall off the face of the earth if I didn't grip it as tightly as my aching muscles would allow. I remember people standing over me, with so many different looks on each face. Some pity, some knowingly, others in determination to get me to stop being sick. Not one face was able. Eventually a friend helped me to bed, where he held back my hair as I continued to dry-heave and rub my back till I fell asleep. Sometime around 5 am.

5.23
The next morning wasn't nearly as equally dreadful. I didn't remember much of the night before. I wasn't even sick. I went to church. Mels made fun of me for being ill. Which didn't help the illness. I got baptized while Mel and Jordan made bets on when I would spew. It was the first time I'd ever been baptized. It felt like the right time. Except for the whole being sick the night before thing. Which I acknowledge isn't good. But I got baptized and that is no small feat in and of itself as I had been waiting on the edge for years, wondering when I would meet that steep-edge running. And I finally did. And I will always remember.
Carrie and I danced in the rain. It was another excellent moment. I wore the same shirt I got baptized in, and it felt almost like a second baptism. The whole day seemed a clear blue. Not that the sky was blue, it was gray, but everything seemed clean and beautiful. And it probably was.
I also found out how much of an idiot I made of myself the night before. Telling people things that maybe they ought not to have known at all. I was so ashamed. Carrie thought it was funny, and I know in retrospect, the moment will likely exponentially multiply in hilarity. At the time, all I could do was blush in shame.
We didn't do much that night. I think I slept most of the day away. I was so tired from the night before. I made brownies from scratch that everyone loved.

5.24
I got up and made omelets for everyone who wanted one. I didn't. I still couldn't eat. Said goodbye to the people who had played host the two nights before. I went to lunch with Carrie and Josh. Where I didn't eat. But we referenced my coming and visiting again very very soon. Carrie referenced how I'd made a fool of myself, but I didn't mind. We'd made a really awesome connection. And I feel like no matter what, we'll always have an understanding. She's a very interesting person. And in some ways, so like me. We made jokes in front of Josh, and he mentioned how excited he was for his birthday. When we got back, they tried to kidnap me so I'd stay, but eventually I did have to leave. We were all very sad. And I hope to be back soon.
I went to Starbucks to say my last goodbyes.
I went home.


And was lonely.

सो सो सो

There's so much to say. It's too late to write it all, and I'm tired, and for some reason I think I may have to work in the morning.. but perhaps not.
I don't know. If I get a call I'll be there. Otherwise, nuh uh.
I'll have to take a big chunk of time out to tell the tales of this weekend.. for they are many.
Interesting and just...
Lessons. All of them.

Baby baby now, Feel the Waltz

In a Regina Spektor mood.
And also Andrew Bird.
As well as the White Stripes and The Decemberists.
Other stuff I can't remember.
Mellow, and happy, and sunshiney :)

It's been a good day.
Hung out with my 2 gay besties. Always fun.
Had coffee and cigarettes.
Listened to music, talked for a few hours about things.
Saw my dear friend Ashley at Coker, and even though we didn't do much, I always have a fun time with her. She's such a darling.

Realized I'm actually getting tanner.
Discovered that I have plans for my life. Generic, but there nonetheless.

Missing some things I'm sure. Like a teeny piece of my heart. But you know, it's not a big enough piece to miss for now.
And I'm sure that at some point it'll be filled right? Before the desperation sets in.

And I think I'm getting a bunny by the Fall! So excited! A little Netherland dwarf. So adorable. And little... yay :)
and I'm getting an apartment with Melissa next semester (hopefully). We'll just have to see how things go.

And I have plans for the summer.
And my mom wants to redecorate my room with an Indian theme (random much, Ma?)
And I plan on minimizing the crap that's currently being stored in my room.
And when I'm not doing other stuff I have a plan for weight loss as well as keeping up with the decent literature that I've so been missing out on.

And I plan on seeing all sorts of people this summer and I've ordered things offline and I'm beginning to pack for going back home and for the first time in a long time, I'm actually looking forward to summer. Not for being out of school, I'm loving school right now. But because I'll get to see people I've missed and I'm going to be taking classes.
(Not looking forward to Business Stats - Math 140 - but it's a necessary evil...)

It just feels like there's so much to look forward to and it's all so sudden and I'm almost ALMOST overwhelmed with a contentedness that I haven't felt in maybe.. ever.

<3

Did you see her Third Eye?

I have several predictions for the coming days.

I will start out by saying: yesterday, I claimed that this weekend would be spectacular starting Thursday.

Here's what my thoughts are...

Firstly, I knew that I would be spending time with Matthew (a.k.a. Disney) who is a lovely friend and has begun to instill in me an appreciation for Buffy the Vampire Slayer [tres super].

Secondly, I knew that I would be antiquing with Mels. She's rad :]

Thirdly, I will be consuming gratuitous amounts of beverages tomorrow evening and a dear friend will visit.

It will be marvelous.

Fourth: I will be going to USC. Where I will likely consume more tasty beverages with people I don't know terribly well.

It's a possibility anyway. It may not happen, I may just spend time with a dear friend completely... myself.

Fifthly, I can't figure out the damn picture thing, so I'm not adding anymore, but you get the gist that good things will occur this weekend.

And when I get back from USC, I'll probably watch more Buffy with Matthew.

When life is simple, life is good.

:]